Envy, Jealousy, Hating…what ever name you would like to call it, it chokes the life out of YOU.

Oxford dictionary defines envy as: “a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck”. Jealous: “feeling or showing an envious resentment of someone or their achievements, possessions, or perceived advantages” Hate: “denoting hostile actions motivated by intense dislike or prejudice“.

It is my belief that God does not make ANY mistakes.  He created us to be Individuals, therefore, inherently different from one another.  Independent in thought, speech, actions, and appearance.  Consequently, our lives will be different.  We may work at the same place but possess a different skill set.  We could live in the same neighborhood but our houses look and run completely different.  The variations between person to person can be infinite BUT the foundation is the same and as my Pastor would say: “How can dirt hate on dirt”.  Genesis 2:7 says, “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.”

The bottom line is when people are unhappy with themselves, they have no energy to appreciate that someone around them is happy.  It is impossible for you to love your neighbor when you don’t love yourself.  The good news is….you can change!!!  Begin to appreciate all that is you, love you enough to identify you have some issues that need to be addressed.  Locate the event/place/person where you originally lost yourself and in the words of Shirley Murdock: “love you better than that and take your life back”

Many women compare their mates to Romeo, the character in Shakespere’s “Romeo and Juliet”.  Some women think they can find the perfect man.  After  reading “Romeo and Juliet”, some women thought Romeo represented this perfect man.  These creative thinkers compared their mates to Romeo and if their mates did not qualify by the standards set forth by Romeo, he was not considered a good mate.  In reality, Romeo was just a good mate for Juliet.

The character Romeo was an example of a man during Elizabethan Times, he is not supposed to be a model for ALL men.  Women have often made the statement, “He was not my Romeo”.  By saying this, those women may have given up on a good man just because he did not behave in the same manner as Romeo.  Things were very different in Romeo’s time and all women DO NOT behave the same way Juliet did.  While these women are comparing their mates to Romeo, he could justifiably say, “she is not my Juliet’.

Every relationship will not be a “match made in heaven”.  The end goal should be to find the  “perfect complement to your imperfections” and this person most likely will not be like Romeo.  Everyone is different and even though Romeo was very charming, he was only meant to be with Juliet.  Be the partner your mate needs you to be, STAND by YOUR man.