The story goes like this (or some variation of this)…

• A  friendship is formed between two people,
• One or both may be romantically interested in the other (this fact may or may not be revealed),
• They begin to spend time together engaging in activities common to a romantic relationship (with or without sex),
• One decides they want more of a commitment in the relationship and the other communicates (verbally or non-verbally), they only want to be friends.

The individual that desires a romantic relationship puts their all into pleasing their friend.  Whether it is being available for movie and dinner dates; hanging out; or whatever…(you get the picture) :-).  The friend soaks it all up, reaping the benefits of a romantic partner although they will never go the next step in the relationship.

Every romantic relationship starts with a solid friendship (at least it should), therefore, initially forming a friendship is important.  What is more important is that you don’t manipulate yourself into thinking that eventually your friend will be your partner.  Waiting around for “them to realize what they have” is a hindrance.  They know exactly what they have, you have become a space filler and just like a seat warmer, you fill a space intended for someone else.  Being placed into the “brother” or “sister” role, usually pretty much lets you know it’s a rap.  EVEN if you are having sex, if they still have you cornered off as a play-play sibling, they have no intention of going past friends.  Yes, they possess all the qualities you desire in a partner but I hope one of your desires is that your partner desire you too.  The friend zone can be a  comfortable place  because both parties benefit in some way but the nights you spend confused, second guessing yourself, and feeling lonely, will always outweigh the gleam of hope you have in the relationship.

So the question is…does the friend zone ruin the possibility of men and women finding meaningful relationships?

Photo from Carlo’s Bakery, http://www.carlosbakery.com/

Well it’s no secret that I’m a Princess so, what better way to celebrate the first day of my birth month than with a castle cake 🙂

Here’s some special things I discovered about my special month…

• National Blueberry Month~this must be the reason I love blueberries soooo much!!!

• National Anti-Boredom Month~hence all the FUN in the sun!!!

• National Cell Phone Courtesy Month~ummm does that mean I can’t use my cell phone while in the presence of others?!?  What about CANDY CRUSH???

• National Ice Cream Month~bring the butter pecan, mint chocolate chip, and red velvet!!!  Ooh and don’t forget the lactaid..LMBO

So…tonight I watched the awards show although I have to admit I only watch BET about once a year.  Specifically for this awards show.  There’s not one  particular reason for my hiatus from BET however,  each year after he show I realize I probably won’t watch until next year.  I’m happy to say this year I was especially delighted with the musical performances.

• Even though my beloved Mimi(Mariah Carey) lip-synced, I remain a beloved lamb.
•  Robert did what only he can do…you see it really isn’t about being hot for the moment, it’s about an eternal flame.  Kellz has hit after hit and could very well keep the crowd singing word for word for hours!  Hate him or love him, he’s talented.
• Badu just takes music to another level…genuis.  I could play her first CD track for track right now!!

Just to name some of my favs…now, I will not give specifics but some of those categories…ummmm, I don’t even know where to begin or if I should even try. Ooh…Janelle Monae, magnificent!!!  Tamela Mann…nuff said although I just don’t know how to feel about going to the King then humping the floor.  I guess as my son stated…”This is BET and if it has anything to do with a black person, it’s gone be some gospel.”

What were some of your favs and what could you have done without?

You say you love me but, it can’t be true because every time I see you all we talk about is you.

You say you miss me but, that can’t be a fact since each time we’re together, you run to get back.

If this is love, show me hate because this love must be fake.

You say you hate them but, I can’t see how because they are  first and those you love are left out.

You say they cause you pain but, I’m not so sure since you dance with them in the rain.

If this is hate, show me love because I’m confused up above.

In your heart, the truth will be revealed.

Which will you choose, time won’t stand still.

Matthew 6:24

24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

I don’t miss the memories we made, I don’t miss the smile on your face.

It’s no special time or place, these feelings fill my space.

The fact is, I miss us.

I miss what we could have been, I miss my best friend.

The truth is we can’t determine our fate and love has no expiration date.

I remember us…