Butterfly: Lord, why did you make me like this?

God: I created you to show the world that no matter how or where you start in life, your destiny is always greater.

Butterfly: But how? When I hatched, I was a small caterpillar, useless to others and unattractive.  I had to crawl everywhere, it took so long to get to different places.

God: I made you crawl so that you would understand life from the lowest point. By crawling you also had time to avoid dangers and traps that were awaiting ahead.  I made you small so that you would understand that your size was sufficient to achieve My purpose for your life.  Although you thought that you were unattractive, I created you to blend in with the elements for your protection.  You see Butterfly, I designed you for a specific purpose and everything about you contributed to you flying into your destiny.

Butterfly: But God, I had to consume myself and you hid me in a cocoon.

God: I know Butterfly, that was also in My plan.  You see in order for you to become who I wanted you to be, you had to give up who you thought you were supposed to be.  You had to consume yourself so that the things inside of you that were not in line with My will for your life would cease to exist.  Essentially, you had to die to be reborn a new creature.  I hid you so that you could develop.  I had to shield you from attacks so that you could transform without the weight (influences) of the outside world. I did all these things so that your transformation would show the world who I am.  Your transformation will encourage others to put their trust in Me.

Butterfly: So, you mean to tell me that You did all of this on purpose?  You care that much for me that you anticipated my needs and designed me to overcome the world.  God, why do you love me so much?  I have complained about my life and the things that I had to go through.  I have asked “God why me”, more times than I should have and I do not always follow your directions.

God: I love you so much because I created you in My image.  You are my child and I knew before you were created that you would complain about your life.  I knew that you would not understand the process but I also knew that your foundation was built on a rock and that rock would be your anchor. I knew that when times got hard, you would remember where you came from and appreciate where you are now.  I knew that your rebirth was going to be worth the struggles you faced in the beginning of your life.  My child, I gave you wings so that you could soar above adversity. I made you beautiful to others to show that everything I created is beauty.  Understand that everything I do is with purpose and there is purpose in your process.

Just like a butterfly, we are born to eventually transform into a new creature. He equips us with everything that we will need for this transformation and send us on our way to live our lives.  He has already determined who will be trusted to birth us, raise us, and stand by our sides throughout life.  God has seen every struggle, stumbling block, and attack that will come against our lives and He has made preparation in advance to get us through these times.  Trust God, He will never fail you. }i{ }i{ }i{

As we develop in our mother’s womb, our journeys have already begun…

Throughout life we travel down many different roads and sometimes we lose direction BUT, (there’s always something better on the other side of “but”) every road and wrong turn will bring you back to your destiny.

When we reach these crossroads, there will be times when we must toss out the road maps and close our eyes and trust that this is exactly where we need to be.  This may seem like a crazy thing BUT, disorder can be an organizer (think about it).

One of the biggest mistakes we make in life is that we tend to measure success only by the things that “go according to plan”.  We set goals such as, “by age 25, this has to happen or by age 30 I should be doing this”. We look at setbacks and roadblocks as failures instead of redirection.  BUT remember, in the mist of what you may think is your biggest failure, you can still see God’s grace and mercy in your life.

Setbacks and roadblocks are never meant to discourage your progression, they are merely extensions of grace and mercy.  Grace is unmerited favor extended by God.  That means that you did not do anything to deserve this favor/assistance BUT because of God’s love for you, He has chosen to stop what was going to happen so that He may give you a better outcome.  Mercy is God’s compassion, extended to you because even though you do things contrary to His direction, He still loves you and desires for you to reach your intended destination.

Soooo…while you are going through your trials, hold your head up and trust the process.  Find comfort in knowing that God’s word shall come to pass.  God will give you the desires of your heart in His time not yours so, be kind to yourself and remember life is a marathon not a race.

My chorus for today is: “Fly like a bird, take to the sky. I need you now, Lord, carry me high.  Don’t let the world break me tonight. I need the strength of You by my side…” ~Mariah Carey

Often times after a “what now” experience, we are left in many shattered pieces.  These shattered pieces represent our delayed dreams, heartbreak, baggage from relationships, lost momentum, etc.  You may feel confused or hopeless when looking at all these pieces and wonder how you will move past this. These feelings are natural because when your world has been turned upside down, it is difficult to land on your feet.

BUT…there is good news on the other side of a “what now” experience. This time is a refining period and during your refining period, there will be twists, turns, and stretching.  Just like gold, refining will remove the impurities from your life and result in a new(better) version of you.

Sooo…here’s the secret…Simply, “Quit cursing the process! You cannot choose the path that God decides to take you to get you to your destiny! Hold on and TRUST the ride!” ~Tera C. Hodges

This statement is so powerful!  When we accept that God’s ways are far better than our own, we experience peace, the peace that passes all understanding.

Chorus for Today: “You, know, sometimes in life, situations are going to occur where you may look to the left or the right and you can’t find any answers and you can’t find anybody to help you. “BUT, I’m reminded of the Word that says they that wait upon the Lord, He shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint. Come on. You’ve got to learn how to wait.~I Don’t Mind Waiting

Romans 6-8: Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

It is normal to be different.  We were all designed differently for the purpose of fulfilling a common goal.  If everyone had the same assignment, no great work would ever be completed.  Therefore, have compassion for each person in their individual roles.  You need different perspectives and experiences to effectively tackle any situation.

More importantly, work your calling, do not attempt to fill the shoes of another.  You are a necessary part of the process.

While ironing my clothes, there was gospel music playing in the background. One song in particular came on and I began to sing along, thinking about how much preparation we make for the next day. We rarely stop and think that maybe there is no tomorrow for us.

One thing that I did faithfully for many years of my life was plan ahead.  I planned my whole life out before I completed elementary school.  So, naturally life has changed my outlook on planning but tonight, I was forced to reexamine my thoughts regarding planning.  As I listened to different stories today I heard a recurring theme, stories of plans but all the plans were contingent upon a tomorrow.

When we consider ourselves “healthy” (physically, mentally, financially), we have a tendency to arrange our lives so that we cut a lot of little things out because we think it will cause us to lose focus or hinder our progress.  It is easy to put things off for another day because you can justify your absence, your lack of compassion, or lack of interest due to your journey to the next level.  What we fail to realize is that time is something that we cannot get back.  We can develop the most well thought out plan and it will not mean a thing if we do not see tomorrow.

Life is full of the unknown but there are some things that we do know.  We know when we love someone, we know when someone has hurt us, we know when we want to see a change take place in our lives, we know when we miss someone, we know when we need to change course, and there are so many other things that we know so, LIVE LOVE LAUGH WITHOUT LIMITS.

1 John 2:19~They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

As we travel through life, we meet so many different people along the way.  The beautiful thing about this process is that we have the opportunity to interact and learn from each other.  Where we interrupt this process is by assigning temporary people, permanent positions.

A temporary person is meant to teach you a particular lesson, show you a different perspective, or maybe just share some of their sunshine along the way.  Often times instead of accepting the temporary nature of these relationships, we prolong the completion of their purpose by turning them into a permanent fixture in our lives.

It is ok to let go! It is ok to let go!  It is ok to let go! Today, thank God for those who left.

Chorus for today: “Letting go, letting go ain’t easy. Oh, it’s just exceedingly hurtful. ‘Cause somebody you used to know, is flinging your world around. And they watch, as you’re falling down, down, down, falling down, baby.”~MC

What do you see?

While having lunch, I took this photo.

So many times we miss the beauty in life because we are so focused on the way things look instead of the way things are.  As I walked away from school this afternoon, I walked under I-4, across the railroad tracks, and pass the police station to get to my destination.

When I walked under I-4, my mind began to wonder, how many people called the little nook where the interstate meets the support structure below home every night.

When I crossed the railroad tracks, I had to be careful to watch my steps so I did not fall.  That gesture made me think about how many times we give up on our goals because the process to reach them has been slow.

As I walked pass the police station,  I saw a couple of officers going in.  Watching this made me wonder how many people walk out of that building everyday not knowing if they will return.  Also, I thought about how many people walk into that building and never walk out.

By the time I sat down for lunch, I was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude.  But for the grace of God, I would have given up on my goals because there were many doors shut in my face before I got to this point.  But for His mercy, I would have been taken into a police a station, never to walk out again.  But for God’s provisions, I would be sleeping under I-4.

I see hope in EVERYTHING because I have seen darkness in many things and even in those times of darkness, God assured me that He was still by my side.  So, what do I see in this picture?  I saw infinite possibilities for my life because the sky is the limit to what I can have.

What do you see?

While watching the movie, Son of God, I was reminded why I live the way I do, love the way I do, and forgive the way I do.  But for the Grace of God, I would not be here.

Just as Lazarus was raised from the dead, God has brought all of us back from some dead situations(spiritual death, illness, dead-end relationships).  God has already said that “this sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God…”.  He already knew you would be placed in these situations and He has already made provisions for you to live through what you thought would kill you.

Just as Jesus waited 2 days to go back to check on Lazarus, God will wait His predetermined time to come check on you.  This does not mean He wants you to suffer, you actually play a part in when you will come out of your dead situation.  You will remain there until you decide that you cannot fix the issue and begin to totally rely on God. When you begin to totally rely on God, your light shines and others will know God by what they see in you.  When you encounter darkness, your light will emanate so that you may find your way out and just like Lazarus, you shall live.

I am a huge proponent of forgiveness however, I recently found myself in foreign state. There was anger brewing inside of me that I did not understand and although I thought I was dealing with the anger, I came to the conclusion that I was not.

While watching the movie, “Dead man Walking”, I realized that I could see myself in the parents of the murdered children.  The had no compassion for the man who was accused of taking their children away from them.  They did not even see the man as human, he was a “mistake of God”, as one parent stated.  It was at that moment that I realized I had lost all compassion for a human being accused of killing someone who I cared about.  I replayed a conversation with a friend regarding the death penalty and clearly heard myself saying that “he” should be killed to stop him from killing anyone else.  I said that he took a life and would probably do it again if he were permitted to live.  I thought that even if he remained in prison for life, he would kill another prisoner and I had compassion for them.

Watching this movie was like looking in a mirror.  One that I had turned over because I did not like what I saw.  I have been going about my business for months thinking of all these reasons “he” should not be permitted to live. I never saw him, I saw a mug shot, then I saw the pain in my son’s eyes.  I saw my son’s tears and heard his unanswered question, “why did “he” have to kill my daddy”?  Ultimately only seeing black, darkness, and resentment.

Unforgiveness is a bitter pill to swallow and it ultimately can kill you.  You see, all this time I have been held hostage by anger and that is a danger to my soul.  My soul salvation is important to me and my goal is living a life that is pleasing to God.  Last night, God showed me, me!  I had to ask for forgiveness and forgive “him”.  I woke up this morning with swollen, red eyes BUT I can feel my load lightened.

I know it is hard to see past the pain that others have caused you but you have to see that you are more than your circumstances.  I never thought that I would be advocating for the death penalty but pain pushes you to points unseen. Thank You God for new mercy.

Today choose you and watch God work it out.

How I Turned Sexual Temptation Into A Blessing

Jul 22, 2014 | by Anonymous

Dear God: Thank you for showing me the way out of temptation and into the blessing and discipline of singleness.

Abstinence. Celibacy. Single. Married. Divorced. They are all words.

More importantly, they are all choices.

And more often than not, they are related to that three letter word that so many people have trouble discussing.

Sex.

I did not wake up one morning and decide “I’m not going to have sex for seven years”.

I did not suddenly decide, “I think I am going to stop dating for a while.”

I DID wake up one morning after having sex with someone I wasn’t married to, yet madly in love with, and crying my eyes out.

It wasn’t the first time. He never noticed my silent tears.

The agony of immeasurable pleasure combined with unbearable guilt.

But my soul was tired.

I wasn’t mad at men.

I was tired of enjoying the best sex ever and IMMEDIATELY feeling disconnected from the one I love the most: GOD.

I was tired of starting my prayers with “God, I’m sorry, I did it again and it’s really hard for me to stay away because I LOVE him.”

I was tired of not feeling free to take my problems to God because I KNEW I was INTENTIONALLY sinning.

I was tired of trying to ignore God whispering in my ear as I got myself all dressed up and smelling good for my “booty call”.

And most importantly, I was tired of not enjoying the full benefits of living a life COMPLETELY lived for God.

It wasn’t random sex.

It was someone I loved more than I had ever loved before.

I was monogamous.

But, I ended the relationship.

When it was over, I was sad. I even tried to go back.

I couldn’t understand how I could hurt so much.

I couldn’t understand how we both could love each other so much and not find a way to make it work.

I couldn’t understand why I could feel so convicted for doing something that felt so good, so spiritual.

But, I KNEW: I NEEDED to obey God.

What was I to do? Go find another man to sleep with?

Nope. It would not have been the same. I only wanted that man.

I realized that each time I gave my body to that man, I was taking something away from God.

I was also depriving myself. Depriving myself of a clean conscience.

It didn’t matter what others around me did. I knew what God told ME!

After that, when a man approached me, I turned him down. I needed to learn the art of discipline.

I had spent so many years of my life, using my body for my OWN pleasure, that I knew I needed to do some SOUL CLEANSING.

So I took it one day at a time. One guy at a time. One No at a time. And now, I have not only days of celibacy, I have YEARS of celibacy.

Discipline.

Do I miss a relationship? Yup!

Do I desire companionship? Yup.

But, this time, I’m waiting on God.

Are there times I want sex?

Um, heck YEAH!

I KNOW what I NEED, WANT and DESERVE in a relationship and I won’t settle anymore.

And as I learned discipline, guess what happened?

I found my purpose.

I honed my talents.

I made new friends with similar interests.

I focused.

I created an online radio show.

I pursued my writing career.

I had a successful television career.

I started my own business.

And I got closer to God than I ever imagined possible.

I hear him more clearly.

The nights of staining my pillow with tears of guilt and shame are long gone.

I know people like to say, “just give it to God”.

The truth is: It doesn’t happen in an instant.

It’s a DAILY DECISION.

So, if people ridicule you for being celibate, ignore the ignorance.

The orgasm they enjoy for a moment, can’t compete with God’s everlasting love!

Even in my initial walk towards the celibate life, I slipped up a few times.

And finally, I made the decision to leave.

And that meant no more sex.

I once went a month, then three months and FINALLY I learned to STOP counting how long it’s been since I’ve “had sex”.

I started counting how long my body has belonged to God!

And now, I’m eagerly anticipating that man, my future husband that God has in store JUST for me.

Because I am disciplined.

And obedience is better than a sacrifice.

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