“A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels”

“The Color of Rain”…

While watching this movie, the all too familiar situation arose…two people fall in love, they go through their moments of doubt and when they finally get out of their own way, everyone tells them they are moving too fast or they are not good for each other. The couple becomes distant and decide to break up.

Often times we need the advice of others so that we may see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, we are moving too fast or even too slow BUT we must be cautious of who we allow to give us advice. Everyone is not in a position to speak to or on your current situation.

When those who have been hurt are still carrying their own grief/pain, it is difficult to give others advice that is not based on their hurtful experience.  They think that what they are saying will protect you from feeling the pain they know all too well but what they are doing is advising you to not feel or live.

Thankfully, because this was a movie, the couple got back together and now live happily ever after. Life is not always like the movies so, be mindful of who you allow in your ear. Most times, they are trying to help but we cannot offer sound advice when we are in a state of depletion ourselves.

What is in a name???

One of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made was what to name my son.  When I was pregnant, it seemed so easy and I never gave it a second thought.  However, as the years go by, I have contemplated numerous times whether I made the right decision.

I gave him a name with Jr. on the end.  At first sight, this may look like a legacy, pride, or a deep appreciation for the man whose name would  now be attached with Sr.  The truth is, I never thought beyond the fact that the child I carried inside was his son and the pride he felt from knowing that a mini version of him would soon grace this world.

I’m happy that I made the decision, along with him, to name our son Jr.  Only God knew that we would be where we are today.  Only God knew that my son would carry a legacy, a sense of pride, and a deep appreciation for the man whose name was attached with Sr.  I thank God that the very same name is revered.  Sr. may be gone but his name touched the hearts of many people who now watch out for Jr.  God’s promises are eternal and I know that although I am away from Jr., Sr.’s name has provided him with a shield that watches and prays for him more than we’ll ever know.

Every phone call I get reminds me that my angel on earth is covered.  So, what’s in a name???   Everything you need!!!

I have a request to write about love.  Well, everyone knows that I love, love and I could write about it ALL day long!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Love is the foundation of all human interaction.  It all began with “for God so loved the world that He gave…”.  Love is Jesus on the cross.  It is this same love that we are to show towards one another.  The things we say, do, and think all should stem from love. The first love we consciously experience is from our parents. It is at this point that things can go one of two directions, right or real wrong {I will save this for another post 🙂 }. However, these experiences are the building blocks from which we develop our basis for love.

As children, we are in an active learning state and we crave knowledge.  We soak up everything we see, hear and feel, then we mimic or reject those behaviors.  These behaviors are what we know to be love.  When we mature we begin to have a new craving, we seek to understand ourselves and develop our own sense of love and we then connect with individuals who we feel meet our needs.  Our subconscious mind creates these connections so that we may receive this love and allows us to show our love towards others.

The most common mistake that we make in relationships is that we seek some magical formula that is supposed to create a perfect love.  Perfection is for God alone and not man.  The foundation of the word relationship is “relation”. Relation is the manner in which people communicate, behave, and interact with each other.  This goes back to love.  The love you desire and the love you require is what guides your relationships. Love is not a noun, do not allow Merriam-Webster to have you searching for a “strong feeling”. There are many who have experienced a strong feeling and it turned out to be pain.  Love is not synonymous with pain. Love is found in actions.  Love is what causes you to care for someone other than yourself.  It makes you put others needs before yours.  Love will make you show compassion and empathy without being told that you should.

Now…we were created to form relationships with one another.  There is no such thing as an army of one. As I said, we were created, therefore designed to form bonds with each other.  It is natural for us to seek companionship. While seeking companionship, we must embrace our differences.  Our differences are what bind us.  We are all flawed but there is someone out there that will strengthen your weaknesses and in doing so they complement your imperfections.  Love is the catalyst that allows this to happen. Love is the acceptance of a less than perfect person and sharing your strengths with them to aid in their growth.  When you can encourage, support, and forgive without expecting reciprocal actions, you have begun to experience love.

What’s love got to do with it?  EVERYTHING!!! Love is what love does.  It is a free-fall experience.  It is vulnerability and selflessness.  In trying to define love, you should understand  that love is a sacrifice.  BUT, with this sacrifice, you add value to your life.  It is my sincere belief that we all desire to be loved and possibly desire even more that someone allows us to love them.  Reach beyond the limits you have placed on yourself and let love flow.

Chorus for today: “I’m a puzzle, yes indeed. Ever complex in every way and all the pieces aren’t even in the box. Yet you see the picture clear as day…You catch me when I fall, accept me, flaws and all and that’s why I love you”~Flaws and All

Somewhere along the way, we have failed to see that all people deserve to be treated as humans. Disagreeing with someone’s view does not make one person right and the other person wrong but it should teach us to see issues from another person’s perspective.

While reading comments posted on a blog site, I noticed the terms reverse racism and white privilege were loosely thrown around, along with comments about who should and should not be allowed to comment on issues within a certain community.  Although most commentators had a point that was valid in their eyes, the message got lost while sifting through cliché’s used to incite emotion.  How do we heal from pain that has not been acknowledged?  If we are not free to say what effects our individual lives or communities without backlash for having the discussion, then how do we find solutions?  On the same note, if we only allow a minimal amount of people to sit in on the discussion, how will things change?

The first step is acknowledgment, there has to be an admission so that acceptance can settle in and from there, the pain of the masses can be healed.  We all suffer from division and we will never heal from our pain by ignoring the cries of our brethren. 

Until we get to the point of acknowledging that we are all human and deserve to be treated as such, we are doing more harm than good to each other.  When you know better, you do better. I’m so thankful for the diverse environment I have called home for the last 2 years. #FAMU 

“Emergency Stopping Only”

When I was younger and I saw a sign on the side of the highway stating “Emergency Stopping Only”, I would always wonder who determines what an emergency is.  In my mind, I figured there was a wide variety of circumstances that could arise while driving on the highway.  So, who gets to determine when you can stop?

On the highway, as in life, we all experience different circumstances that we deem emergencies.  These differ from person to person and our surroundings.  While traveling, if you’re 50 miles from your exit, your emergency is different from when you are 5 miles away. In life, the closer you get to your destiny, you will see your emergencies begin to look a lot different.  The things that caused you to pause or stop, will no longer have that effect on you journey.  Your emergencies turn into urges that push you to your destinations.

Therefore, God determines when you can stop.  He already knows exactly how much you can handle and He’s already foreseen the “emergencies” that you may see as hindrances.  It is all about perception.  We should look at  life through our spiritual eyes for our natural eyes will deceive us.  Things that we think will stop us in our tracks are the very things that God has placed in our lives to propel us into our destinies.  When we begin to see ourselves as God sees us, we see that there is no reason to stop moving, it is merely time to stop and pray.

We are only as free as the truth we live…<3

Some are taught to keep secrets to minimize the pain; many are told to lie so that others will not be hurt by their actions; and others are encouraged to paint fairy-tale pictures to replace harsh realities.

The problem with all these things is that they take away from the greatness that we could experience in life.

Give yourself the freedom to live your best life. God has a purpose and plan for you that is greater than you could ever imagine. Your past does not determine the quality of your future.  Everything you experienced was to get you to the very point you are at now. Break free from the things that keep you tied down and Live Your Truth.

As the mother of a teenage son, it is becoming a little too hard for me to be comfortable with the thought of him being out of my sight.  You see, fortunately, my son grew up to be a tall, handsome young man, surpassing others on the growth charts.  But society says he does not fit the mold.  He is not permitted to “act his age” because people would rather see him act his size.  Not only is his size an issue, his appearance altogether is an issue.  In addition to general parental guidance, I have to tell him he’s not allowed to wear his hoodie on his head, he’s not allowed to walk to the corner store, and now I have to warn him about his music when starts driving next year…the irony is, we do not live in a war zone, we live in “the land of the free, thanks to the brave”.  Many members of my family are the those brave soldiers that fought and continue to fight for “our” freedom and yet I have to treat my child as a prisoner of war.

There is a real problem when the life of a child is no longer a priority.  I have witnessed more compassion for animals than for children who resemble my son.  These attacks on the youth are coming from all directions.  So, as a parent, am I to keep my child under lock and key to protect him?  Is it ok for him to feel like he is not welcomed in his community, city, or state?  How is he supposed to feel when society says his life is worthless?

Parents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, grandparents, and all others that make up our support systems…please continue to love on our sons.  Let them know that no matter who is against them, they have God and us in their corners.  Ensure that they are allowed to be kids.  A child should never have to worry about carrying out normal activities.  With us fighting for their lives, the harder it will be for others to take them.

It is important to surround yourself with people who believe in you.  Not those who believe in your latest endeavor but those who believe in who you are at the core.  The ones that will lift you up during moments of weakness and turn you around when you are heading for wall.  They are the ones that God sends to remind you that you are on the right course.  We all have moments in which we evaluate if we have gone down the right path or made the right decision.  We  are guilty of seeing things as they appear instead of seeing what God has spoken over our lives.  Thankfully, He never leaves us without direction and He will send a word when it is needed.

Over the past week, I received confirmation that I was on the right course in several areas.  It was settled that some decisions I made were correct for this time in my life.  The weight of the world will attempt to break the strongest of us down.  Yet God still lets me know whose I am and that I am covered.  I am thankful for the direction I am heading and grateful for the obedience to stay on course.  It only goes up from here!!!

Thanks Sunshine for holding my umbrella in the rain 🙂

On the show Bones, Special Agent Booth is a Christian and no matter what happens in an episode, almost always, his faith is tested or God is mentioned…

Booth is a FBI agent and a scientist is his partner.  He sees things that could cause some people to question their faith and their belief that God has the final say.  His partner, the scientist, does not believe in God because she has a scientific explanation for everything that happens.  She often asks him does he still believe in God or if he made a decision because he wants to go to heaven. Booth has decided that no matter what he sees or what others say, he will serve God.  He has decided that he will stand on God’s promises even if he stands alone.  He owes everything to God and everything he does is because of God.  Booth does not concern himself with what science says or the evil things that people do.

We are taught for the most part that we must conform.  We have to fit into the ideal mold of “normalcy”, mirror those that surround us in our different areas of life.  The issue with normal is, there is no clear definition of the word.  Normal to you is not necessarily normal to me.  The truth is we were born to stand out.  My beliefs are rooted in what I learned as a child and what I have discovered as an adult.  They will not line up with any one else’s because no two lives are the same.  Our foundations may be the same but we will most certainly go about things differently because God has called us all on a different walk within our lives.  On our individual walks, we must become unapologetic about the fact that we were born to stand out.  God did not create us in the image of fear or inferiority.  We are the children of a King.  A King’s children do not minimize their existence because they will not be accepted or liked.  Just as Booth, we must stand alone at times.  Being different is a gift.  Embrace who God has called you to be and do not apologize for it.