Today I saw the movie The Butler.   Not only did I get a look into the life of  the butler, I saw a glimpse of the world surrounding him.  I saw relationships fall apart and be rebuilt.  I saw wars, internal and external.  Most importantly, I saw people on all different walks of life trying to figure it all out.  The movie was insightful and thought-provoking.  I wanted to share a little of  what I saw but please go see it for yourself.  It reminded me that there is always so much more than what we see on the surface;  In life we have choices, even when we think we don’t;  Everything won’t feel good but they will work as they should; and Often times we struggle so the next person won’t have to.

Mothers-life doesn’t come with a manual, you will make mistakes.  Communication will always be the key.  Our kids need to know that we love them and we don’t expect perfection. Our husbands need us to love, support, and inspire them.  Remember you’re not perfect and no one expects you to be.

Fathers-although your wife needs to know you can take care of your family, it means nothing if you’re not there to show her that you love her and that she plays an important role in your life.  Your children need to know you can take care of them but they need to know you love them more.  They need to know that you support them even when you don’t necessarily agree with their decisions.  Remember you’re not perfect and no one expects you to be.

Leaders-although people depend on you to have all the answers, you’re human and will get things wrong.  Learning from your mistakes is important.  You have a support staff for a reason, you don’t know everything.  Remember you’re not perfect and no one expects you to be.

Children-one of the most difficult things you have to realize is, your parents are not perfect.  They will make mistakes.  Your parents will also do whatever they have to in order to make your life better than theirs.  Never take that for granted.  Remember you’re not perfect and no one expects you to be.

The main point I took away from the movie is that, no matter who you are, you have an impact in the world.  Never think because you hold a specific position, you’re less important.  You might not change the world but you could be the voice in the person’s ear that does. Think of all those who have made an impact in the world, someone said something to spark  or heighten their curiosity to step out and reach for something further than their eyes could see.

Today, go be GREAT!!!  Someone is looking for exactly what you have to offer,

I love and am love unconditionally.

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” —Louise L. Hay

On day 8 of the meditation challenge I was reminded of just how important it is to love yourself.  Before you can offer anyone else love, you must first love yourself unconditionally.  I’ve learned that it is impossible to trust someone who says they love you but don’t love themselves.  Self love is enriching and gives you inner peace.  When you stop wrestling with your insecurities and embrace your true self, you gain an appreciation for everything that makes you unique.

“Who you are is God’s gift to the world”

“I am a radiant spiritual being.”

My perspective:

My spirit-self is who I am at all times.  My truth is this may or may not be who is seen though.  Along the quest for self discovery, you will find out some things that you didn’t know about yourself.  You will see some ugly truths.  Your goal should be to accept every part of yourself; the things you love, hate and ways you want to grow.  Remember, “you are a radiant spiritual being”, the spirit is pure, loving, and accepting.

Love on yourself and accept who you are!

“Today I am open to the presence of miracles”

After my meditation today, I was filled with thoughts about packaging.  So often I believe we picture what our lives are supposed to look like and become discouraged when things don’t mirror our “package”.  We receive new miracles daily and miss their presence because we’re looking for something different.

While on your journey, take time to appreciate the miracles that you receive.  Look for them, expect them, and appreciate them.

While watching T.V. tonight, there was a scene in which friends with benefits (error number 1) decided to enter into a committed relationship with each other.  The woman, obviously the dominate member, made this decision after becoming jealous because the man began flirting with another woman. (Error number 2).

The couple went grocery shopping and while in the store, a friend of the woman asked the man, “what do you want to be when you grow up”?  The man responded that he was already what he wanted to be and had no aspirations to be anything else.  This upset the woman and when the couple got home, she questioned if he was joking in the store.  He explained to her that he was completely happy with his current career and did not want to change it in any way.  She proceeded to tell him things changed when they decided to start a relationship and she was starting to feel something and could never marry a man in his field.

Soooo…does this scenario sound familiar?  Have you ever entered into a relationship because you thought he/she would change/evolve?

If your answer is yes, you have successfully created your own fairytale. Friends with benefits is not the same as a romantic relationship.  It’s a friendship with sex and usually nothing more.  Often times in this type of relationship, you refuse to see the person right in front of you, you miss out on getting to know who they really are because you believe you already know them.  The woman on the show only saw what she wanted from the man.  She thought he was like her because of the friendship they had.  When he didn’t measure up, she wanted to walk away.  He was confused by her reaction, he didn’t understand what changed.  In the end, he left and went off to become a man she would marry, thus, leaving her single.

In your quest for love  remember it starts and ends with you.  You should begin with a solid friendship but that alone doesn’t make them the perfect partner.   Be honest with yourself and don’t turn your partner into a perfect being.  Give them room to be their authentic self and stop being so quick to walk away.

The story goes like this (or some variation of this)…

• A  friendship is formed between two people,
• One or both may be romantically interested in the other (this fact may or may not be revealed),
• They begin to spend time together engaging in activities common to a romantic relationship (with or without sex),
• One decides they want more of a commitment in the relationship and the other communicates (verbally or non-verbally), they only want to be friends.

The individual that desires a romantic relationship puts their all into pleasing their friend.  Whether it is being available for movie and dinner dates; hanging out; or whatever…(you get the picture) :-).  The friend soaks it all up, reaping the benefits of a romantic partner although they will never go the next step in the relationship.

Every romantic relationship starts with a solid friendship (at least it should), therefore, initially forming a friendship is important.  What is more important is that you don’t manipulate yourself into thinking that eventually your friend will be your partner.  Waiting around for “them to realize what they have” is a hindrance.  They know exactly what they have, you have become a space filler and just like a seat warmer, you fill a space intended for someone else.  Being placed into the “brother” or “sister” role, usually pretty much lets you know it’s a rap.  EVEN if you are having sex, if they still have you cornered off as a play-play sibling, they have no intention of going past friends.  Yes, they possess all the qualities you desire in a partner but I hope one of your desires is that your partner desire you too.  The friend zone can be a  comfortable place  because both parties benefit in some way but the nights you spend confused, second guessing yourself, and feeling lonely, will always outweigh the gleam of hope you have in the relationship.

So the question is…does the friend zone ruin the possibility of men and women finding meaningful relationships?

Photo from Carlo’s Bakery, http://www.carlosbakery.com/

Well it’s no secret that I’m a Princess so, what better way to celebrate the first day of my birth month than with a castle cake 🙂

Here’s some special things I discovered about my special month…

• National Blueberry Month~this must be the reason I love blueberries soooo much!!!

• National Anti-Boredom Month~hence all the FUN in the sun!!!

• National Cell Phone Courtesy Month~ummm does that mean I can’t use my cell phone while in the presence of others?!?  What about CANDY CRUSH???

• National Ice Cream Month~bring the butter pecan, mint chocolate chip, and red velvet!!!  Ooh and don’t forget the lactaid..LMBO

So…tonight I watched the awards show although I have to admit I only watch BET about once a year.  Specifically for this awards show.  There’s not one  particular reason for my hiatus from BET however,  each year after he show I realize I probably won’t watch until next year.  I’m happy to say this year I was especially delighted with the musical performances.

• Even though my beloved Mimi(Mariah Carey) lip-synced, I remain a beloved lamb.
•  Robert did what only he can do…you see it really isn’t about being hot for the moment, it’s about an eternal flame.  Kellz has hit after hit and could very well keep the crowd singing word for word for hours!  Hate him or love him, he’s talented.
• Badu just takes music to another level…genuis.  I could play her first CD track for track right now!!

Just to name some of my favs…now, I will not give specifics but some of those categories…ummmm, I don’t even know where to begin or if I should even try. Ooh…Janelle Monae, magnificent!!!  Tamela Mann…nuff said although I just don’t know how to feel about going to the King then humping the floor.  I guess as my son stated…”This is BET and if it has anything to do with a black person, it’s gone be some gospel.”

What were some of your favs and what could you have done without?

You say you love me but, it can’t be true because every time I see you all we talk about is you.

You say you miss me but, that can’t be a fact since each time we’re together, you run to get back.

If this is love, show me hate because this love must be fake.

You say you hate them but, I can’t see how because they are  first and those you love are left out.

You say they cause you pain but, I’m not so sure since you dance with them in the rain.

If this is hate, show me love because I’m confused up above.

In your heart, the truth will be revealed.

Which will you choose, time won’t stand still.

Matthew 6:24

24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

I don’t miss the memories we made, I don’t miss the smile on your face.

It’s no special time or place, these feelings fill my space.

The fact is, I miss us.

I miss what we could have been, I miss my best friend.

The truth is we can’t determine our fate and love has no expiration date.

I remember us…