I know we hear the words self care tossed around a lot these days but never underestimate the value in taking care of your own needs first.

As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty well.

Life challenges all of us, so we must remember to take the time to consistently invest in our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Here’s a picture of a little gift (under $20) that I purchased for myself for Christmas. I’ve posted the link below so you can grab one for yourself!

#spaday #relaxation #mentalhealth

Birthday Gifts for Women Purple Spa Gift Baskets for Women Unique Gifts Ideas Relaxing Self Care Gifts Set for Womens Relaxation Gift Boxes Christmas Gifts for Mom Her Best Friends Sister Coworker https://a.co/d/6zRiIit

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Like many of you, I tuned in to watch the Bobby Brown Story, for many different reasons (I have not read

his book).  First and foremost, I wanted to see Bobby Brown’s life through the eyes of Bobby Brown.  I have read articles and seen stories told from the perspective of an onlooker BUT nothing beats a first hand account of a story.

Listen…by the end of day 2, I saw a piece of all of our lives in Uncle Bobby’s story.  I saw a life full of highs and lows.  I saw heartache, pain, and a man that has had to pick up the pieces and start over again and again. I saw someone that has loved and lost.  Someone that was full of life and wanted to enjoy every moment.

If you watched the series and picked through to determine which parts you choose to believe then you wasted your time.  We all go through trials and tribulations so that we can help others to see that there is victory on the other side.  Each part of the story built upon and expanded to another area of his life.  In the end, he is the sum total of every experience and a work in progress, still striving to get better.

I am grateful that Uncle Bobby brought HIStory to television and gave the world deeper insight into his life.  The story is told from HIS prospective and the wonderful thing about you telling your story is that no one gets to tell you what happened to you.

Be courageous enough to tell YOUR story.  The world is waiting.

I recently had an epiphany…many years ago, I was a side chick.  Now, I know the realization sounds a little shocking.  You may be asking questions like; how could you not know that you were a side chick?  Well, the answer is that I did not care enough at the time to think about it.

How does that happen???  Kinda like this…I was focused.  Focused on what I wanted. I was the boss of me.  He was a welcomed distraction but not enough of a distraction for me to realize all the moments he was an afterthought or a fill-in-the blank.  Now I am not giving him a pass and I do not promote cheating.  What I am saying is that I totally missed the process of changing from the object of his affection to the second place chick.

The story went something like this…we met under somewhat strange circumstances and we became almost inseparable.  In the beginning we talked all day, everyday, even while we were at work(shout out to Bluetooth technology) and then we talked until we went to sleep at night.  We also saw each other several times a week, at different time intervals.

At some point, I guess he grew tired of my unavailability/unwillingness to be who he needed and began to fill-in-the blank.  To be honest, I am certain that she was in the picture all along and I was quite possibly the fill-in-the blank BUT this is a tale about balance, not resolving the question of why he had the desire for two women.

So, back to my point…One night while we were together, he excused himself to answer a call.  He did not walk away or try to hide the fact that a female was calling.  When he hung up, I told him that was disrespectful or something to that effect.  He clearly responded that “if I was on my job, he would not be answering the phone.”

After this incident, I began to pull away from him and seek I wanted in my life(remember I am the boss of me).  I remember him questioning me about the distance and of course my answer was that I was busy.  Eventually, I told him that I started a new relationship and he confessed that he realized that he was in love with me.  The problem was that we had both run out of time.  There was nothing that he could say to repair our situationship, I did not trust him anymore. The good news is that we both went on to live our happily ever after eventually.

You see in life we put so many things before ourselves and our relationships all under the goal of looking out for ourselves( see how that does not add up).  Often times we think that we can push things to the side while we work our plan but we cannot control time nor add time when it is lost.  In order to achieve what we really want and need in life, we must find balance.  We have to be wives to OUR husbands, mothers to our children, girlfriends to OUR boyfriends, a friend to our friends and fulfill our positions at work,  all at the same time. All these roles require our attention and a certain level of devotion.  I believe that this is achieved when we prioritize our roles.  Ask yourself what is really important and adjust accordingly.

I, like many others in the world have celebrity family members (in my head 😉). While it is true that these people are not biologically related to me nor do they know me, over the years they have shared so much of their lives(even when they did not want to), that we have become family.

So…I did not watch the Whitney movie because as strange as it may sound to you, I do not want to see her story told again.  Throughout the years so much of her life has been in the public eye, so what else is there to uncover?  We have heard several variations of her life story and many “insiders” have given detailed accounts of what it was to be Whitney Houston. I sat through her entire funeral service and mourned her death along with millions of others.  Therefore, I am satisfied with remembering the amazing, God-given talent that was gifted to the world through Auntie Whitney and would like for her to rest in peace.

When the video was released for “I Look to You”, I saw the Whitney that we all grew to love in the beginning.  The classy songstress that took us on emotional roller coasters through her music.  The melodies that reminded us of what it feels like to be alive and the lyrics that showed us that there is a song for every situation.  But, I also saw a woman who had been tried by a firing squad and hung out dry.  In her beauty you could see the hope for better days (I look to you) while the strain of critics left her surrendering (after giving it my all).  Society has a strange way of worshiping celebrities one day and condemning them to death the very next day.  But wait that story sounds very familiar doesn’t it…they did it to Jesus, right?  I guess history really does repeat itself.

Chorus for Today: “As I lay me down. Heaven hear me now. I’m lost without a cause. After giving it my all. Winter storms have come. And darkened my sun. After all that I’ve been through. Who on earth can I turn to?~ I look to you

While ironing my clothes, there was gospel music playing in the background. One song in particular came on and I began to sing along, thinking about how much preparation we make for the next day. We rarely stop and think that maybe there is no tomorrow for us.

One thing that I did faithfully for many years of my life was plan ahead.  I planned my whole life out before I completed elementary school.  So, naturally life has changed my outlook on planning but tonight, I was forced to reexamine my thoughts regarding planning.  As I listened to different stories today I heard a recurring theme, stories of plans but all the plans were contingent upon a tomorrow.

When we consider ourselves “healthy” (physically, mentally, financially), we have a tendency to arrange our lives so that we cut a lot of little things out because we think it will cause us to lose focus or hinder our progress.  It is easy to put things off for another day because you can justify your absence, your lack of compassion, or lack of interest due to your journey to the next level.  What we fail to realize is that time is something that we cannot get back.  We can develop the most well thought out plan and it will not mean a thing if we do not see tomorrow.

Life is full of the unknown but there are some things that we do know.  We know when we love someone, we know when someone has hurt us, we know when we want to see a change take place in our lives, we know when we miss someone, we know when we need to change course, and there are so many other things that we know so, LIVE LOVE LAUGH WITHOUT LIMITS.

1 John 2:19~They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

As we travel through life, we meet so many different people along the way.  The beautiful thing about this process is that we have the opportunity to interact and learn from each other.  Where we interrupt this process is by assigning temporary people, permanent positions.

A temporary person is meant to teach you a particular lesson, show you a different perspective, or maybe just share some of their sunshine along the way.  Often times instead of accepting the temporary nature of these relationships, we prolong the completion of their purpose by turning them into a permanent fixture in our lives.

It is ok to let go! It is ok to let go!  It is ok to let go! Today, thank God for those who left.

Chorus for today: “Letting go, letting go ain’t easy. Oh, it’s just exceedingly hurtful. ‘Cause somebody you used to know, is flinging your world around. And they watch, as you’re falling down, down, down, falling down, baby.”~MC

The story goes like this (or some variation of this)…

• A  friendship is formed between two people,
• One or both may be romantically interested in the other (this fact may or may not be revealed),
• They begin to spend time together engaging in activities common to a romantic relationship (with or without sex),
• One decides they want more of a commitment in the relationship and the other communicates (verbally or non-verbally), they only want to be friends.

The individual that desires a romantic relationship puts their all into pleasing their friend.  Whether it is being available for movie and dinner dates; hanging out; or whatever…(you get the picture) :-).  The friend soaks it all up, reaping the benefits of a romantic partner although they will never go the next step in the relationship.

Every romantic relationship starts with a solid friendship (at least it should), therefore, initially forming a friendship is important.  What is more important is that you don’t manipulate yourself into thinking that eventually your friend will be your partner.  Waiting around for “them to realize what they have” is a hindrance.  They know exactly what they have, you have become a space filler and just like a seat warmer, you fill a space intended for someone else.  Being placed into the “brother” or “sister” role, usually pretty much lets you know it’s a rap.  EVEN if you are having sex, if they still have you cornered off as a play-play sibling, they have no intention of going past friends.  Yes, they possess all the qualities you desire in a partner but I hope one of your desires is that your partner desire you too.  The friend zone can be a  comfortable place  because both parties benefit in some way but the nights you spend confused, second guessing yourself, and feeling lonely, will always outweigh the gleam of hope you have in the relationship.

So the question is…does the friend zone ruin the possibility of men and women finding meaningful relationships?

Life’s riches are not measured by material possessions…

I’m wealthy because my riches are stored up in relationships.  Those who deposit love, knowledge, wisdom, and time have ensured that I will never go broke.  As you go through life, you learn to spend more time appreciating the positive people in your life and ignoring the negative ones.  Those who deposit negativity have a purpose in your life but you should never reserve them a place.  The power of prayer can turn a negative into a positive so, keep praying and keep moving.

My chorus for today: “Count on me through thick and thin, a friendship that will never end. When you are weak, I will be strong.  Helping you to carry on.  Call on me, I will be there.  Don’t be afraid, please believe me when I say count on….”~Waiting to Exhale

My circle rocks!!!