Often times after a “what now” experience, we are left in many shattered pieces.  These shattered pieces represent our delayed dreams, heartbreak, baggage from relationships, lost momentum, etc.  You may feel confused or hopeless when looking at all these pieces and wonder how you will move past this. These feelings are natural because when your world has been turned upside down, it is difficult to land on your feet.

BUT…there is good news on the other side of a “what now” experience. This time is a refining period and during your refining period, there will be twists, turns, and stretching.  Just like gold, refining will remove the impurities from your life and result in a new(better) version of you.

Sooo…here’s the secret…Simply, “Quit cursing the process! You cannot choose the path that God decides to take you to get you to your destiny! Hold on and TRUST the ride!” ~Tera C. Hodges

This statement is so powerful!  When we accept that God’s ways are far better than our own, we experience peace, the peace that passes all understanding.

Chorus for Today: “You, know, sometimes in life, situations are going to occur where you may look to the left or the right and you can’t find any answers and you can’t find anybody to help you. “BUT, I’m reminded of the Word that says they that wait upon the Lord, He shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint. Come on. You’ve got to learn how to wait.~I Don’t Mind Waiting

Romans 6-8: Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

It is normal to be different.  We were all designed differently for the purpose of fulfilling a common goal.  If everyone had the same assignment, no great work would ever be completed.  Therefore, have compassion for each person in their individual roles.  You need different perspectives and experiences to effectively tackle any situation.

More importantly, work your calling, do not attempt to fill the shoes of another.  You are a necessary part of the process.

Loving you has been the best part of my life,

It’s not that you have been the best part but the love I feel for you is amazing.

Maybe I want you then again maybe I just want the me that loves you,

I don’t but I do.

It seems that it is never the right time for us,

You try to clone me and I try to clone you.

He’s nothing like you and she will never be me.

So maybe I want us then again maybe I just want the me that wants you,

I don’t but I do.

We do this dance over and over,

What should I say, what should I do.

Maybe I want to say I do then again maybe it is clear that I don’t,

I don’t but I do.

We will never make sense,

We were unexplainable.

So maybe I want too much then again maybe I don’t want it bad enough, 

I don’t but I do.

While ironing my clothes, there was gospel music playing in the background. One song in particular came on and I began to sing along, thinking about how much preparation we make for the next day. We rarely stop and think that maybe there is no tomorrow for us.

One thing that I did faithfully for many years of my life was plan ahead.  I planned my whole life out before I completed elementary school.  So, naturally life has changed my outlook on planning but tonight, I was forced to reexamine my thoughts regarding planning.  As I listened to different stories today I heard a recurring theme, stories of plans but all the plans were contingent upon a tomorrow.

When we consider ourselves “healthy” (physically, mentally, financially), we have a tendency to arrange our lives so that we cut a lot of little things out because we think it will cause us to lose focus or hinder our progress.  It is easy to put things off for another day because you can justify your absence, your lack of compassion, or lack of interest due to your journey to the next level.  What we fail to realize is that time is something that we cannot get back.  We can develop the most well thought out plan and it will not mean a thing if we do not see tomorrow.

Life is full of the unknown but there are some things that we do know.  We know when we love someone, we know when someone has hurt us, we know when we want to see a change take place in our lives, we know when we miss someone, we know when we need to change course, and there are so many other things that we know so, LIVE LOVE LAUGH WITHOUT LIMITS.

1 John 2:19~They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

As we travel through life, we meet so many different people along the way.  The beautiful thing about this process is that we have the opportunity to interact and learn from each other.  Where we interrupt this process is by assigning temporary people, permanent positions.

A temporary person is meant to teach you a particular lesson, show you a different perspective, or maybe just share some of their sunshine along the way.  Often times instead of accepting the temporary nature of these relationships, we prolong the completion of their purpose by turning them into a permanent fixture in our lives.

It is ok to let go! It is ok to let go!  It is ok to let go! Today, thank God for those who left.

Chorus for today: “Letting go, letting go ain’t easy. Oh, it’s just exceedingly hurtful. ‘Cause somebody you used to know, is flinging your world around. And they watch, as you’re falling down, down, down, falling down, baby.”~MC

I can’t wait until…

After some self reflection, I noticed how much I make the statement, “I can’t wait…”  What I discovered is, as long as I say, I can’t wait, I’m denying myself of the joys of what I already have. Often times we get so hypnotized by the prospect of greater that we successfully rob ourselves of the satisfaction of a job well done. The truth is we can wait and most times, we should wait. God’s timing is much better than our own and He knows the plans for our lives much better than we do.

What I’ve decided to add to my vocabulary to replace “I can’t wait”, is, “I’m so excited about what is to come.”

Last night a wise woman reminded me to celebrate where I am because when I could have given up, I didn’t. She told me, I performed like superwoman and I should be proud. What I learned from this is even when you think you’ve failed, there’s someone else watching that feels you’ve soared.

The story goes like this (or some variation of this)…

• A  friendship is formed between two people,
• One or both may be romantically interested in the other (this fact may or may not be revealed),
• They begin to spend time together engaging in activities common to a romantic relationship (with or without sex),
• One decides they want more of a commitment in the relationship and the other communicates (verbally or non-verbally), they only want to be friends.

The individual that desires a romantic relationship puts their all into pleasing their friend.  Whether it is being available for movie and dinner dates; hanging out; or whatever…(you get the picture) :-).  The friend soaks it all up, reaping the benefits of a romantic partner although they will never go the next step in the relationship.

Every romantic relationship starts with a solid friendship (at least it should), therefore, initially forming a friendship is important.  What is more important is that you don’t manipulate yourself into thinking that eventually your friend will be your partner.  Waiting around for “them to realize what they have” is a hindrance.  They know exactly what they have, you have become a space filler and just like a seat warmer, you fill a space intended for someone else.  Being placed into the “brother” or “sister” role, usually pretty much lets you know it’s a rap.  EVEN if you are having sex, if they still have you cornered off as a play-play sibling, they have no intention of going past friends.  Yes, they possess all the qualities you desire in a partner but I hope one of your desires is that your partner desire you too.  The friend zone can be a  comfortable place  because both parties benefit in some way but the nights you spend confused, second guessing yourself, and feeling lonely, will always outweigh the gleam of hope you have in the relationship.

So the question is…does the friend zone ruin the possibility of men and women finding meaningful relationships?

You say you love me but, it can’t be true because every time I see you all we talk about is you.

You say you miss me but, that can’t be a fact since each time we’re together, you run to get back.

If this is love, show me hate because this love must be fake.

You say you hate them but, I can’t see how because they are  first and those you love are left out.

You say they cause you pain but, I’m not so sure since you dance with them in the rain.

If this is hate, show me love because I’m confused up above.

In your heart, the truth will be revealed.

Which will you choose, time won’t stand still.

Matthew 6:24

24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

I don’t miss the memories we made, I don’t miss the smile on your face.

It’s no special time or place, these feelings fill my space.

The fact is, I miss us.

I miss what we could have been, I miss my best friend.

The truth is we can’t determine our fate and love has no expiration date.

I remember us…

“He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh  from the beginning to the end.”~Eccl. 3:11

God has already told you certain things would occur in your life but because they have not happened, you have lost focus on the promise.

There was a time in my life that I started to grow weary in a promise God made to me.  I began to think was that God or did I tell myself that.  Sometimes we get discouraged by what we see and forget what God has spoken.  I was in church during Holy Week last year and the preacher said, “like a quarterback throwing passes to his receiver, you have to be in position to get your blessings.  God keeps throwing your blessing to you but you are not in place.  If you do not get in position, someone else is going to receive what God is trying to do for you.”  It was time to go where God was sending me.  God said be quiet because they won’t understand.  I did not have a major plan, I did what God instructed me to do.    He said don’t tell everybody because you don’t need their mouths on this.  People who care about you will always try to advise you as to what is best for you but when God is speaking, no other voice/opinion needs to be heard.  The moment I got to my destination, God sent confirmation that I was in the right place.  He sent an acceptance letter that I had been waiting two years to receive.  He was waiting for me to trust what He was doing in my life.  I had to experience growing pains to receive the promise.  God still had some things He had to work on.

Trust the Process because God’s promises shall be fulfilled, follow His instruction to receive the promises, and remember this is not about you, God wants the glory.

Chorus for today: “Sometimes you feel so alone, like a child lost with no home.  They keep telling you to be strong, but you say when will it end?  When will I win?  Just know He has His hands on you.”~Marvin Sapp