Like many of you, I tuned in to watch the Bobby Brown Story, for many different reasons (I have not read

his book).  First and foremost, I wanted to see Bobby Brown’s life through the eyes of Bobby Brown.  I have read articles and seen stories told from the perspective of an onlooker BUT nothing beats a first hand account of a story.

Listen…by the end of day 2, I saw a piece of all of our lives in Uncle Bobby’s story.  I saw a life full of highs and lows.  I saw heartache, pain, and a man that has had to pick up the pieces and start over again and again. I saw someone that has loved and lost.  Someone that was full of life and wanted to enjoy every moment.

If you watched the series and picked through to determine which parts you choose to believe then you wasted your time.  We all go through trials and tribulations so that we can help others to see that there is victory on the other side.  Each part of the story built upon and expanded to another area of his life.  In the end, he is the sum total of every experience and a work in progress, still striving to get better.

I am grateful that Uncle Bobby brought HIStory to television and gave the world deeper insight into his life.  The story is told from HIS prospective and the wonderful thing about you telling your story is that no one gets to tell you what happened to you.

Be courageous enough to tell YOUR story.  The world is waiting.

I recently had an epiphany…many years ago, I was a side chick.  Now, I know the realization sounds a little shocking.  You may be asking questions like; how could you not know that you were a side chick?  Well, the answer is that I did not care enough at the time to think about it.

How does that happen???  Kinda like this…I was focused.  Focused on what I wanted. I was the boss of me.  He was a welcomed distraction but not enough of a distraction for me to realize all the moments he was an afterthought or a fill-in-the blank.  Now I am not giving him a pass and I do not promote cheating.  What I am saying is that I totally missed the process of changing from the object of his affection to the second place chick.

The story went something like this…we met under somewhat strange circumstances and we became almost inseparable.  In the beginning we talked all day, everyday, even while we were at work(shout out to Bluetooth technology) and then we talked until we went to sleep at night.  We also saw each other several times a week, at different time intervals.

At some point, I guess he grew tired of my unavailability/unwillingness to be who he needed and began to fill-in-the blank.  To be honest, I am certain that she was in the picture all along and I was quite possibly the fill-in-the blank BUT this is a tale about balance, not resolving the question of why he had the desire for two women.

So, back to my point…One night while we were together, he excused himself to answer a call.  He did not walk away or try to hide the fact that a female was calling.  When he hung up, I told him that was disrespectful or something to that effect.  He clearly responded that “if I was on my job, he would not be answering the phone.”

After this incident, I began to pull away from him and seek I wanted in my life(remember I am the boss of me).  I remember him questioning me about the distance and of course my answer was that I was busy.  Eventually, I told him that I started a new relationship and he confessed that he realized that he was in love with me.  The problem was that we had both run out of time.  There was nothing that he could say to repair our situationship, I did not trust him anymore. The good news is that we both went on to live our happily ever after eventually.

You see in life we put so many things before ourselves and our relationships all under the goal of looking out for ourselves( see how that does not add up).  Often times we think that we can push things to the side while we work our plan but we cannot control time nor add time when it is lost.  In order to achieve what we really want and need in life, we must find balance.  We have to be wives to OUR husbands, mothers to our children, girlfriends to OUR boyfriends, a friend to our friends and fulfill our positions at work,  all at the same time. All these roles require our attention and a certain level of devotion.  I believe that this is achieved when we prioritize our roles.  Ask yourself what is really important and adjust accordingly.

I, like many others in the world have celebrity family members (in my head 😉). While it is true that these people are not biologically related to me nor do they know me, over the years they have shared so much of their lives(even when they did not want to), that we have become family.

So…I did not watch the Whitney movie because as strange as it may sound to you, I do not want to see her story told again.  Throughout the years so much of her life has been in the public eye, so what else is there to uncover?  We have heard several variations of her life story and many “insiders” have given detailed accounts of what it was to be Whitney Houston. I sat through her entire funeral service and mourned her death along with millions of others.  Therefore, I am satisfied with remembering the amazing, God-given talent that was gifted to the world through Auntie Whitney and would like for her to rest in peace.

When the video was released for “I Look to You”, I saw the Whitney that we all grew to love in the beginning.  The classy songstress that took us on emotional roller coasters through her music.  The melodies that reminded us of what it feels like to be alive and the lyrics that showed us that there is a song for every situation.  But, I also saw a woman who had been tried by a firing squad and hung out dry.  In her beauty you could see the hope for better days (I look to you) while the strain of critics left her surrendering (after giving it my all).  Society has a strange way of worshiping celebrities one day and condemning them to death the very next day.  But wait that story sounds very familiar doesn’t it…they did it to Jesus, right?  I guess history really does repeat itself.

Chorus for Today: “As I lay me down. Heaven hear me now. I’m lost without a cause. After giving it my all. Winter storms have come. And darkened my sun. After all that I’ve been through. Who on earth can I turn to?~ I look to you

My uncle taught me that “my God will provide”. In this season, those words have guided me through my day-to-day trials and allowed me to experience joy during my time in the valley.

While it may appear that I have been in a season of lack, God told me that I would not lose one thing. You see to the human eye it may look like a fall but in God’s eyes it is a setup for a come up. In this season, I often found myself saying Lord I do not know what you are preparing me for but I trust you. BUT, I had to change my words and just simply say Lord I trust you. Because no matter what He is preparing me for He has still been working in this season and for everything that I saw as lack, He has given me better.

A few weeks ago I received a major blessing that was over a year in the making. I had no idea nor was I even thinking about going in this direction but God said I have already seen what challenges are ahead, I know your needs and I will supply ALL your needs.  He put an individual in place and placed a seed in their mind that would come to harvest 18 months later.

Often in life we get so caught up in what things look like that we cannot see what they really are. We make plans and when the plans fall through, we are devastated. We waste time trying to regroup and we waste time trying to figure out what God is doing.  In these times, we must be still and allow God to truly be the head of our lives.

The super Saints will not get this but the Christians will… You do not have to be perfect for God to bless you, you do not have to say buzz words for God to bless you, and you do not have to stand on one leg and scratch your head for God to bless you…simply put, God will bless you in His way and in His time.

From this day forward do not to get caught up in the small stuff. So what your plans did not work out, God’s plans are much better than anything you could ever plan for yourself. Allow God to work out the details and follow His directions.  If you trust God to wake you up every day, why not trust him to make that day good. God is prepared to give you what you have asked for and everything that you need but the question is, do you trust Him?

Loving you has been the best part of my life,

It’s not that you have been the best part but the love I feel for you is amazing.

Maybe I want you then again maybe I just want the me that loves you,

I don’t but I do.

It seems that it is never the right time for us,

You try to clone me and I try to clone you.

He’s nothing like you and she will never be me.

So maybe I want us then again maybe I just want the me that wants you,

I don’t but I do.

We do this dance over and over,

What should I say, what should I do.

Maybe I want to say I do then again maybe it is clear that I don’t,

I don’t but I do.

We will never make sense,

We were unexplainable.

So maybe I want too much then again maybe I don’t want it bad enough, 

I don’t but I do.

As we develop in our mother’s womb, our journeys have already begun…

Life is a series of short stories with a common end.  Throughout life we travel down many different roads and sometimes lose direction but every road and wrong turn brings us back to our center.  There are times when we must toss out the road maps, close our eyes and follow our destined paths.  This may seem like a crazy thing to do but disorder can be an organizer(think about it).

As I embark on a new journey in my life, I would like to take you along with me.  Today, I gave “it” all up. “It” represents everything that is hindering you from walking in your purpose.  Friday, May 4, 2012 represents trash pick up day.  I pulled the dumpster from behind the house and took the garbage to the curb.  There it will stay and I won’t ever pick it up again.  Many people walk around dumping their trash in other people’s dumpsters, leaving that person with trash they don’t have room to store.  So, today I left problems, sorrow, heartache, bitterness, dislike and all things of the sort on the curb.  They were all things dropped off in my dumpster by others.  They represent burdens that I don’t have room to store.