Like many of you, I tuned in to watch the Bobby Brown Story, for many different reasons (I have not read

his book).  First and foremost, I wanted to see Bobby Brown’s life through the eyes of Bobby Brown.  I have read articles and seen stories told from the perspective of an onlooker BUT nothing beats a first hand account of a story.

Listen…by the end of day 2, I saw a piece of all of our lives in Uncle Bobby’s story.  I saw a life full of highs and lows.  I saw heartache, pain, and a man that has had to pick up the pieces and start over again and again. I saw someone that has loved and lost.  Someone that was full of life and wanted to enjoy every moment.

If you watched the series and picked through to determine which parts you choose to believe then you wasted your time.  We all go through trials and tribulations so that we can help others to see that there is victory on the other side.  Each part of the story built upon and expanded to another area of his life.  In the end, he is the sum total of every experience and a work in progress, still striving to get better.

I am grateful that Uncle Bobby brought HIStory to television and gave the world deeper insight into his life.  The story is told from HIS prospective and the wonderful thing about you telling your story is that no one gets to tell you what happened to you.

Be courageous enough to tell YOUR story.  The world is waiting.

I recently had an epiphany…many years ago, I was a side chick.  Now, I know the realization sounds a little shocking.  You may be asking questions like; how could you not know that you were a side chick?  Well, the answer is that I did not care enough at the time to think about it.

How does that happen???  Kinda like this…I was focused.  Focused on what I wanted. I was the boss of me.  He was a welcomed distraction but not enough of a distraction for me to realize all the moments he was an afterthought or a fill-in-the blank.  Now I am not giving him a pass and I do not promote cheating.  What I am saying is that I totally missed the process of changing from the object of his affection to the second place chick.

The story went something like this…we met under somewhat strange circumstances and we became almost inseparable.  In the beginning we talked all day, everyday, even while we were at work(shout out to Bluetooth technology) and then we talked until we went to sleep at night.  We also saw each other several times a week, at different time intervals.

At some point, I guess he grew tired of my unavailability/unwillingness to be who he needed and began to fill-in-the blank.  To be honest, I am certain that she was in the picture all along and I was quite possibly the fill-in-the blank BUT this is a tale about balance, not resolving the question of why he had the desire for two women.

So, back to my point…One night while we were together, he excused himself to answer a call.  He did not walk away or try to hide the fact that a female was calling.  When he hung up, I told him that was disrespectful or something to that effect.  He clearly responded that “if I was on my job, he would not be answering the phone.”

After this incident, I began to pull away from him and seek I wanted in my life(remember I am the boss of me).  I remember him questioning me about the distance and of course my answer was that I was busy.  Eventually, I told him that I started a new relationship and he confessed that he realized that he was in love with me.  The problem was that we had both run out of time.  There was nothing that he could say to repair our situationship, I did not trust him anymore. The good news is that we both went on to live our happily ever after eventually.

You see in life we put so many things before ourselves and our relationships all under the goal of looking out for ourselves( see how that does not add up).  Often times we think that we can push things to the side while we work our plan but we cannot control time nor add time when it is lost.  In order to achieve what we really want and need in life, we must find balance.  We have to be wives to OUR husbands, mothers to our children, girlfriends to OUR boyfriends, a friend to our friends and fulfill our positions at work,  all at the same time. All these roles require our attention and a certain level of devotion.  I believe that this is achieved when we prioritize our roles.  Ask yourself what is really important and adjust accordingly.

I can’t wait until…

After some self reflection, I noticed how much I make the statement, “I can’t wait…”  What I discovered is, as long as I say, I can’t wait, I’m denying myself of the joys of what I already have. Often times we get so hypnotized by the prospect of greater that we successfully rob ourselves of the satisfaction of a job well done. The truth is we can wait and most times, we should wait. God’s timing is much better than our own and He knows the plans for our lives much better than we do.

What I’ve decided to add to my vocabulary to replace “I can’t wait”, is, “I’m so excited about what is to come.”

Last night a wise woman reminded me to celebrate where I am because when I could have given up, I didn’t. She told me, I performed like superwoman and I should be proud. What I learned from this is even when you think you’ve failed, there’s someone else watching that feels you’ve soared.

“You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”~Unknown

This week a young lady told me her house was broken into twice this month, two friends died this week and her best friend got robbed at a red light.  She could not concentrate on any one task for too long and found it hard to sit still.  She complained about not needing to be at work and wanting to just cry all day.  I saw a story about a woman who contracted a flesh-eating disease earlier this month and has had her leg, a foot and both hands amputated.  She is reported to be in high spirits and responded “Lets do this” when told about her amputations.  Her father says every breath she takes is a gift, she sat up for 5 hours when doctors only expected about an hour out of her hospital bed.  Not to make light of either situation but the reactions are very different in comparison.  Throughout life you will experience trials, heartache, and loss.  Your reaction is what determines your outcome.  Life can give you a thousand reasons to throw in the towel, many reasons to walk away and many more to give up on life itself.  These times are when you find out things about yourself you may have never known. “If you think your problems are big, listen to someone else’s and you will see yours are small in comparison”.

My chorus for today: “Found hope in my heart, I found the light to light my way out of the dark.  Found all that I need, here inside of me.  I thought I’d never find my way, I thought I’d never lift that weight, I thought I would break.  I didn’t know my own strength and I crashed down, and I tumbled but I did not crumble.  I got through all the pain, I didn’t know my own strength…”~Whitney Houston